My Native American friend, Will, who talked about praying for ourselves before we pray for others here, gave me one other crucial tip about living our best chapter.

Declare yourself an emotionally autonomous state. Declare your independence as if you were a new country.

As a new autonomous region, you can extend your arms and that 360 degrees around you is your territory. Nobody can step into your territory unless you invite them in. That means physically and mentally, too.

“I learned I didn’t have to put other people’s well-being ahead of my own,” Will said. “If they were struggling, that didn’t mean I had to struggle, too. If they were hurting, I could pray for them but I could still hold a sacred space of dignity within myself and achieve emotional fortitude.”

We can look at ourselves as an independent country so that what happens outside our borders doesn’t have to affect us so deeply. We don’t  have to take on the crises of  others. We can still live a life of freedom and joy even though others remain stuck.

Today can be declared Independence Day. Celebrate your new state!