Sorry, but no matter how hard you pray, you might not win the lottery, avoid sickness, escape disaster, death, loss, or pain.

Prayers are not bargains. There’s no “If I do this, give me that.” We won’t be able to pull a rabbit out of our hats. But prayers are still magic. Prayers can still give us the ability to cope with any situation we find ourselves in.

Pray in whatever language you want. First, say thank you. A sincere thank you for everything you still have. Say thank you for your eyelashes, your funny-looking toenails, the shell-like curves of your ears. Be grateful for the toast, the melting butter, the cup of hot coffee. Try to say thank you for every little thing in your life that you take for granted. Knowing and appreciating what we already have is prayer.

Then pray for the strength you need for any task facing you. If you’re about to have a difficult conversation, don’t rehearse the lines in your head. Pray only for the right words to be given to you at the right time. Pray to keep silent long enough to hear the words—they will come for you.

Pray for all those you resent. Really. Pray that they be granted everything you pray for yourself. Pray for their health, happiness and prosperity. Now, that’s magic because the resentments will lift. You will be amazed.

If you’re praying for the patience to wait for something you really want, remember that waiting time is not wasting time. You’re still doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

“I’ve begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it,” said Danny in Chaim Potok‘s The Chosen.

Prayers might not change your situation but they do work like magic. They are like pixie dust. Sprinkle them around you and watch what happens.