We don’t always understand why we’re going through this pain. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair. We can repeat that over and over again and it’s true – it’s not fair that we have to endure so much suffering.
There’s no answer. That’s it. Sometimes we’re in the midst of a really heartbreaking time and there’s no short cut. And it takes so much courage just to keep paddling.
Look, some things don’t get better. Some people won’t ever change. Look around at the world: Sometimes there’s no chance at peace even though war is so terrible. You could make a long list of places where there is only hopelessness and despair.
Some things just are and we have to deal with them.
Some heartaches can never be healed; they must only be endured. The only comfort is knowing that down the road, we’ll be able to use this pain and the knowledge that we survived it to give comfort to someone else. Down the road, someone is going to come to us with the very same problem and we’ll be able to say, ah, yes, I was there. I know what it feels like.
Today, all we can do is put the kettle on the stove, make ourselves another cup of tea, go for a walk, try to find a scent of spring in the air, listen to a lonely bird’s song, watch a worm try to inch its way around a puddle. Sometimes the sky is so spectacularly blue that it overwhelms us. We think there should not be beauty when we feel so lost and alone.
To try to make this a part of our best chapter we have to look for one thing, something anything, to fill our hearts, to nudge aside a tiny bit of our hurt.
I will do one thing that is not what I usually do when I’m in pain…Just one thing to break my routine. Maybe just that will be a sign that I’m still alive.
- A week long heartbreak (julsoutloud.wordpress.com)