“Stop whining!” I heard a mother tell her daughter the other day.
Well, that’s a start. But a child is trying to say something and doesn’t know how to express herself. Telling her to stop whining might shut her up for a few minutes. But that doesn’t help the girl figure out how to get what she needs. So here’s the next simple tip:
Substitute.
Instead of saying, “Stop whining,” say: “Talk like a big girl.”
Mothers can then educate their children to speak appropriately. A Mom can get her kids to stop whining. Being a parent means guiding your child and giving her the communication skills she needs. It’s really simple. It really works. “Talk like a big boy” is just as effective, obviously.
And one more tip for making motherhood smoother…Children are good inside. They are. They are always good. Sometimes they mess up, however. It’s better for mothers to say, “What a big boy!” rather than “What a good boy!” Mothers and fathers want their children to mature, to be healthy and responsible. Encourage that. “You put your toys away so nicely. You’re such a big girl!”
How do we develop shame? By being told when we’re little and do something wrong that we’re bad. We are never bad. We are fundamentally good. We just mess up sometimes. And you want your kids to feel the same way.
For Mother’s Day, give the Mom’s you know these simple tools now in book form! And remember to order your copy of The Mom Who Took Off On Her Motorcycle wherever fine books are sold! Here are a few places:
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-mom-who-took-off-on-her-motorcycle-diana-bletter/1114769393?ean=2940044331181
KOBO BOOKS: www.kobobooks.com/ebook/The-Mom-Who-Took-Off/book-lDD-E4TT70axGXcz9Fmorw/page1.html?s=Wa5VLzCZsESOnoau_tNlmg&r=1
APPLE IBOOKSTORE:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/mom-who-took-off-on-her-motorcycle/id609277209?mt=11
And while it’s still for free, don’t forget to download and send my book, Get Your Kids Under Control and Get Your Life Back, here:
Remember: Don’t just tell a kid to stop doing something. Tell them what to do instead.
Related articles
- Mother’s Day. Bah! Humbug! (momedysketch.com)
DIANA BLETTER 
Hi Diana,
Our parenting skills are on the same page. I always said, “what you did was not good,” instead of “You’re a bad girl/boy.” We have enough negativity in the world so our homes should be a haven. 🙂
That is so true, Tracy. Our homes need to be safe houses for everyone living in them. I never agreed with the notion that kids can get “swelled heads” if given too many compliments and positive words. Thanks for sharing!