On Assumptions: Vanilla, And Otherwise

Setting: lazy afternoon with two visitors staying with us for two days. One girl from Paris and another from Milan.

Scene: My older son offered to make them his special iced coffee and as he was about to pour vanilla into their glasses I shouted, “Wait! Vanilla? Italians would hate ruining their caffé with vanilla! You’re assuming they will like vanilla because you do.”

“And you’re assuming that because you don’t like vanilla they won’t either,” he said.

We argued a bit on this point (it’s amazing how a dumb little argument can get out of control so quickly) and then I asked the Italian girl who told me, “You thought that just because I’m Italian I won’t like vanilla in my coffee? I do like it…”

(Of course she’d side with the cute guy over me!)

I learned my lesson. Never interfere in someone else’s coffee-making. Never assume people won’t like cinnamon, chocolate or vanilla in their coffee just because you don’t. Because – and I love this expression – when you assume you make an ass out of u and me. Guilty as charged.

“You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions.”Denis Waitley

Which leads me to remind you: Free Starbucks Coffee Giveaway (one pound of ground) is going on now. Last day to enter. Don’t be bashful. Leave a comment and bingo! Winner will be drawn using random.org’s random numbering and announced tomorrow!

About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is the author of several books, including The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker), shortlisted for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Moment Magazine's 2019 Fiction Contest. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and is a reporter for Israel21C, and many other publications. She is author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You and The Mom Who Took off On Her Motorcycle, a memoir of her 10,000-mile motorcycle trip to Alaska and back to New York. She lives in a small beach village in Western Galilee, Israel, with her husband and family. She is a member of the local hevra kadisha, the burial circle, and a Muslim-Jewish-Christian-Druze women's group in the nearby town of Akko. And, she likes snowboarding and climbing trees.
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