Tool For Tuesday: If You Spot It, You Got It.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMy friend Lily had a presentation to prepare for at a major business conference. A colleague of hers—we’ll call her Sandra—said, “I hope your presentation isn’t going to be boring and full of details.”

Lily said defensively, “It isn’t!” But Lily was nervous…until she sat through Sandra’s presentation which was…of course…boring and full of details!

If you spot it, you got it.

Say about someone, “he doesn’t like me.” The truth really is that you don’t like him.

Say that your neighbor is judgmental. Are you—just a wee bit—judgmental? Or have you already caught that trait in yourself, worked on transforming your character defects, and now can recognize it–almost in hindsight–in someone else?

I’m a perfectionist…I spot that in others right away. I’ve always felt critical of myself, so I’m in tune to people who are still finding flaws in everything and everybody.

So if we spot something we’re not comfortable with, then we can transform ourselves by substituting the opposite. Don’t like people who talk too much? Practice saying less. Don’t like giving reviews about people? Practice forgiveness. And, look for things we like in others and strive for them. I admire my friend Lily’s determination. I see it in her and want to develop that in myself.

Tool for Tuesday: You spot it in someone else, recognize that what you see is in yourself. The world is a mirror. A reflection of our souls. We see others the way we see ourselves.

About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is the author of several books, including The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker), shortlisted for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Moment Magazine's 2019 Fiction Contest. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and is a reporter for Israel21C, and many other publications. She is author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You and The Mom Who Took off On Her Motorcycle, a memoir of her 10,000-mile motorcycle trip to Alaska and back to New York. She lives in a small beach village in Western Galilee, Israel, with her husband and family. She is a member of the local hevra kadisha, the burial circle, and a Muslim-Jewish-Christian-Druze women's group in the nearby town of Akko. And, she likes snowboarding and climbing trees.
This entry was posted in Tool For Tuesday, Transformation and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Tool For Tuesday: If You Spot It, You Got It.

  1. Okay, squirming here. This one is WAY too close to home.
    Sigh. Good post. Uncomfortable reminder, but good post.

  2. Forgiveness. That’s one of the main keys to a happy life. Not always easy to do. But if we don’t forgive others, we’re only hurting ourselves. Hee hee, I’m a perfectionist too! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s