Are You Burning? That Means You’re Learning.

“Did you get my Adidas?” my husband, Jonny, asked me.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said.

But in truth, I hadn’t really checked. Jonny and my stepson had three pairs of shoes delivered and I hadn’t paid attention to which kind of shoes they were.

He didn’t get the Adidas.

I was not thorough. I felt what I call “the burn” when I see my faults clearly. But that’s where the change comes in. You learn through the burn.

I had to make the mistake to see something in myself that wasn’t exactly pretty. Maybe learning thoroughness right now will prevent me from skipping over something in the future that will be far more important.

It’s painful to see our mistakes and our shortcomings. But we have to accept our imperfections in order to grow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I gloss over details that are not important to me. A stunning turn of phrase in a book catches my attention but someone else’s shoes do not. So I’m learning.

What do you see about yourself that you can change today? That’s transformation and we don’t ever have to stop growing and changing.

It’s only when we mess up, and ’fess up, that we can grow.

About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is the author of several books, including The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker), shortlisted for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Moment Magazine's 2019 Fiction Contest. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and is a reporter for Israel21C, and many other publications. She is author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You and The Mom Who Took off On Her Motorcycle, a memoir of her 10,000-mile motorcycle trip to Alaska and back to New York. She lives in a small beach village in Western Galilee, Israel, with her husband and family. She is a member of the local hevra kadisha, the burial circle, and a Muslim-Jewish-Christian-Druze women's group in the nearby town of Akko. And, she likes snowboarding and climbing trees.

View all posts by dianabletter →

6 Responses to Are You Burning? That Means You’re Learning.

marilynslagel says:

June 13, 2013 at 1:31 am

Diana, I doubt the Internet has enough space for me to list them. LOL Oh, and I’m so glad I’m not a woman in China who wears those shoes. My feet are very small, but NORMALLY small! lol

- dianabletter says:
  
  June 14, 2013 at 6:43 am
  
  Hi Marilyn, I’m in the big feet club myself and I’m very happy I wasn’t born in China when they were binding feet! Thanks for writing!
  
Tracy Campbell says:

June 13, 2013 at 2:31 am

Hi Diana,
Just taking ownership for your actions shows growth.
I plead the fifth. My list would be too long. 🙂

- dianabletter says:
  
  June 14, 2013 at 6:42 am
  
  I agree that taking ownership for what we’ve done shows tremendous growth. That’s the first step! Thanks!
  
Cynthia says:

June 13, 2013 at 2:07 pm

The first 35 years of my life, I was cramming my size 11 foot into a size 10 shoe. Were my feet burning? You bet! Then I learned Nordstrom’s carries shoes up to size 14. What did I learn then? That I could not afford the shoes, even on sale.. So then what did I learn? Payless shoes went up to size 12, and nobody was looking at my feet anyway. Besides, it’s not the shoe that make the woman, it’s the journey you wear in the shoes. My feet thank me for that!

- dianabletter says:
  
  June 14, 2013 at 6:41 am
  
  Big feet, big challenge! But you are so right, it is the journey that our feet take us on. Thank you for writing!