Zip the Lip

Sometimes It's Better to Breathe than to Speak

Wouldya keep your mouth shut?

One of the best things I’ve learned about how to make my day run smoother is to get some space between what my brain wants to sputter and what I know my mouth should speak. Ahhh. The one moment of waiting, taking a breath, asking myself, “Is this kind, helpful and necessary?” before I speak.

It’s not always easy. In fact, it’s one of the toughest things in the world. I have to pause and ask myself, “Does it have to be said? Does it have to be said by me? Does it have to be said now?”

Making the next chapter of my life the best chapter sometimes means a lot of quiet. Not vengeful quiet, not fuming “I’m going to show you” quiet, not quiet filled with scorn that is perversely satisfying. Just a smooth, still, serene quiet even when I want to scream.

That’s discipline. That’s harder for me than running 10 miles. That’s will-power. But that’s what keeps me happy and therefore, those around me happy.

Just for today I’ll practice taking a deep breath before I speak.

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About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is the author of several books including The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker), shortlisted for a National Jewish Book Award, a novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins), a memoir, The Mom Who Took of on her Motorcycle, and The Loving Yourself Book for Women: A Practical Guide to Boost Self-Esteem, Heal Your Inner Child, and Celebrate the Woman You Are, an Amazon top-seller in several categories, and The Loving Yourself Workbook for Girls. She is the First Prize Winner of Moment Magazine's 2019 Fiction Contest. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review and is currently a reporter for The Times of Israel. Diana and her husband have six children and an unofficially-adopted daughter from Ethiopia. They live in a small village on the Mediterranean Sea in northern Israel.
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