Connecting the Dots

My friend Lily—who asked, “To buy…or not to buy my own towels for my boyfriend’s house here—posed another challenge yesterday about connecting the dots. She said that she wants to make sure she connects the dots with her boyfriend–not too early but not too late.

“I can’t wait too long to decide whether to break up with him or not because I don’t want to invest so much time,” Lily confessed. “But I don’t want to make a decision too rushed. I am really trying to connect the dots.”

She wants to take in the information but she wants to make sure sees everything so she can connect the dots. She has to come out of denial and see clearly–but not assume too much.

Which brings me to a link on Ido Lanuel’s fascinating blog on our minds. Often we don’t have to wait too long to connect the dots – our minds form pictures using only partial information. But it’s a line between seeing too little and seeing too much.

Be like a Zen warrior, I told her. Wait. Observe. See everything. See clear as a whale in murky waters. See like an owl into the darkness. Breathe deep. Clear your mind. Think but don’t over-think. Be patient and you’ll get your answer. Then act when you are 100-percent sure. And then don’t look back.

Do you wait far too long until you have more and more information before you connect the dots? Or do you connect the dots too fast and assume too much?

What do you do to connect the dots in a timely manner?

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About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is the author of several books including The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker), shortlisted for a National Jewish Book Award, a novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins), a memoir, The Mom Who Took of on her Motorcycle, and The Loving Yourself Book for Women: A Practical Guide to Boost Self-Esteem, Heal Your Inner Child, and Celebrate the Woman You Are, an Amazon top-seller in several categories, and The Loving Yourself Workbook for Girls. She is the First Prize Winner of Moment Magazine's 2019 Fiction Contest. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review and is currently a reporter for The Times of Israel. Diana and her husband have six children and an unofficially-adopted daughter from Ethiopia. They live in a small village on the Mediterranean Sea in northern Israel.
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