Connecting the Dots

My friend Lily—who asked, “To buy…or not to buy my own towels for my boyfriend’s house here—posed another challenge yesterday about connecting the dots. She said that she wants to make sure she connects the dots with her boyfriend–not too early but not too late.

“I can’t wait too long to decide whether to break up with him or not because I don’t want to invest so much time,” Lily confessed. “But I don’t want to make a decision too rushed. I am really trying to connect the dots.”

She wants to take in the information but she wants to make sure sees everything so she can connect the dots. She has to come out of denial and see clearly–but not assume too much.

Which brings me to a link on Ido Lanuel’s fascinating blog on our minds. Often we don’t have to wait too long to connect the dots – our minds form pictures using only partial information. But it’s a line between seeing too little and seeing too much.

Be like a Zen warrior, I told her. Wait. Observe. See everything. See clear as a whale in murky waters. See like an owl into the darkness. Breathe deep. Clear your mind. Think but don’t over-think. Be patient and you’ll get your answer. Then act when you are 100-percent sure. And then don’t look back.

Do you wait far too long until you have more and more information before you connect the dots? Or do you connect the dots too fast and assume too much?

What do you do to connect the dots in a timely manner?

About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is the author of several books, including The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker), shortlisted for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Moment Magazine's 2019 Fiction Contest. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and is a reporter for Israel21C, and many other publications. She is author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You and The Mom Who Took off On Her Motorcycle, a memoir of her 10,000-mile motorcycle trip to Alaska and back to New York. She lives in a small beach village in Western Galilee, Israel, with her husband and family. She is a member of the local hevra kadisha, the burial circle, and a Muslim-Jewish-Christian-Druze women's group in the nearby town of Akko. And, she likes snowboarding and climbing trees.
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