The Apple Can Fall Far From The Tree

Yesterday I wrote my Tool for Tuesday: It’s Your Own Fault. That post reminds us all that blame keeps us wallowing in the past. It is impossible to move forward when we keep replaying the lament about what we didn’t get from our parents.

But today’s post is the opposite message. Think of the expression, The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

You’re the apple. Your family is the tree. If your family tree sick and hurtful and miserable and anger and bitter…If people in your family shame you and blame you and name you as selfish and rotten, if they tell you that their problems are your fault, and if you only did this or if you only did that…if they don’t want you to live a happy and healthy life without taking care of them…Well, then fall as far from the tree as possible.

Fall far and keep rolling. You don’t have to stick around, even if they tell you that blood is thicker than water, that you have a family obligation, that you’re a terrible child, a terrible person. You don’t have to keep staying stuck in an attempt to make other people feel better.

If you choose a different life from your family, you don’t have to be an apple lying at the root of a sick tree.

Choose a different life for yourself. Write a different ending to your story. You can live your best chapter even if those you love remain stuck.

About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is a writer living in Western Galilee. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, Glamour, The Forward, The North American Review, Times of Israel, and many other publications. Her first book, The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker) was nominated for a National Jewish Book Award. Her novel, A Remarkable Kindness, (HarperCollins) was published in 2015. She is the First Prize Winner of Family Circle Magazine's 2011 Fiction Contest and author of Big Up Yourself: It's About Time You Like Being You.
This entry was posted in Self-care, Your Best Chapter and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s