Tag Archives: tool for tuesday

Tool For Tuesday: How To Make Decisions

In 2010, I wrote a blog about making decisions when one of my daughters was trying to figure out what to do with her life. (We all seem to ponder that question rather frequently.) I suggested that act like a … Continue reading

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Tool for Tuesday: Don’t Give Up Your Resentment. (That is, if you don’t want to get better.)

That’s right. Don’t give up your resentments if you want to continue drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Don’t give up your anger if that’s how you want to fuel yourself. If you get an adrenaline … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday. Think. Especially in this Harried, Hyperbolic Holiday Season

I got entangled in a family dispute the other day. One of those silly arguments that flare up and everyone gets worked up. I told myself not to jump in but I was unable to stop myself and suddenly I … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: Everything We Do Out of Guilt Turns Into a Future Resentment.

We’re students of life. We sometimes do things we don’t want to do because we want to be nice or because we’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or because we have a high tolerance for emotional pain and think, “Oh, … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: Finding Happiness Even When Those You Love Are Stuck.

I got an email from an acquaintance who wrote, “I am struggling with my relationship with my mother and I’ve been starting to suspect it might be affecting my relationships with others too…My mother is an alcoholic; I no longer … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: Drop the Savior Behavior.

  My friend, Lily, whom I’ve written about here, told me that she had arrived at a new relationship with her new boyfriend on a white horse. She was going to rescue him and clean up his life. And at the … Continue reading

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Tool for Tuesday: The Sandwich. Huh?

My friend, Joelle, was off to give her boyfriend “a piece of her mind.” Try the sandwich, I suggested. Huh? The sandwich approach is: two compliments with a suggestion in the middle. That seems to work best. Give a compliment, … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: Get Better or Get Bitter.

Less than two years before my friend—I’ll call her Tracy—died, she found out that her husband was cheating on her. She was furious, obviously. He moved out. A while later, we met for lunch. I told her I was amazed at … Continue reading

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Tool for Tuesday: Name It. Frame It. Tame It.

So, my friend Janet is on a safari in the Serengeti when I thought about my Tool for Tuesday. I was pondering the way I replay certain themes in my head—like a song from the radio you can’t stop humming. … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: You Can Pick Your Friends and You Can Pick Your…Word. (And I Did.)

So, when we last met, we were rummaging around our brain cells and heart veins and soul spaces for that word of the year. My friend, Anne, wrote, “My best word forever and ever is love. Such an easy one … Continue reading

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