There’s a period of life where we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. —Pearl Bailey.
Yesterday was the day of doing a moral inventory of ourselves in the Jewish year and I was praying hard while sitting in a seat reserved for another woman…
She wasn’t there yet so I thought I’d sit until she got there—but once she got there, I didn’t budge. I sunk even lower in that plush chair, prayed harder, wanting the women around me to go away so I could sit there and keep praying.
Isn’t it funny how people are? And how hard it is to really change? I was praying for forgiveness about my past mistakes while committing another mistake. I got holier-than-thou, putting my relationship with the One Above higher than my relationship with the people all around me. Ouch!
I got called on my lousy behavior. It stung, it stung, it stung to realize that I acted in a totally inappropriate way. So unlike me—I’m usually considerate and super-sensitive to the needs of others.
But my mistakes are my best teachers. Here’s what I learned.
Smugness—I was smugly thinking I was superior to these women becauase they were gossiping while I was praying.
Judgmental—how often are we judgmental about others? They didn’t know what was going on in my head nor do I know what was going on in theirs.
MYOB—A woman told me afterwards, “You know, that was Sandra’s seat!” This woman wasn’t minding her own business…so she taught me not to get involved. (Unless it’s a case of real injustice!)
Spiritual progress not perfection—nobody’s a saint. Look at Bill Gates, who gives millions of dollars to charities. In an article here, I learned that Microsoft deliberately wasted power to pressure a small town in Washington not to fine the company $210,000. That’s about what the company makes in a minute. Sometimes we overlook the people closest to us in an attempt to go far.
Forgiveness—So, I made a mistake. Can’t keep beating myself up for it. Better to admit it and share it. Now I have to go apologize to the woman. But how freeing is that? That’s part of being human.
Humility—We have to keep going deeper and deeper and learn more spiritual lessons. We have to look at ourselves in the mirror and think of the three A’s: Awareness, acceptance, action.
Live your best chapter: Your worst mistakes are your best teachers.
DIANA BLETTER 
This post really hit the target, Diana. We don’t learn lessons from pleasure, but from pain, and nothing is more painful than knowing–absolutely realizing–that we’ve made a mistake…hurt someone else…done something wrong or made a very poor decision. Some we can correct or make an effort to make right by apologizing or pleading for a “do over.” But the real lesson is the knowledge, the self-realization about what we did.
My grandmother–and then my mother, too–stressed that the goal is not to be perfect, but to become more self-aware…and also, not make the same mistake twice.
Thanks your for another excellent post.
Your grandmother and mother sound like very smart women. Yes, the goal is self-awareness. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom!