Either I love him or I hate him…either I am angry at him or I adore him…

We don’t have to do that either/or tango. We can love someone and still be angry at them–even though it’s tough.

When Wilbur the pig first met Charlotte in Charlotte’s Web, he thought, “What a gamble friendship is! Charlotte is fierce, brutal, scheming, bloodthirsty—everything I don’t like.”

But Wilbur said that underneath Charlotte’s cruel exterior, she had a kind heart, and she was to prove loyal and true to the very end. I love that book. It teaches me that we don’t have to do that either/or thing. We can love and accept people not only despite how complicated they are but because of how complicated we all are.

So what are three qualities you might not like about the person you love? She’s temperamental, sharp-tongued and fiery, let’s say. So put those qualities on the table. Then be like Wilbur and love all of them. They are sloppy and stubborn and I still love ’em. They drive me crazy and I still love ’em. Love ’em at their worst just like we want them to love us.

Tool For Tuesday: It don’t gotta be either/or. It can be and…and…and…I still love ’em.