I got a comment from a student at UCLA who thanked me for my blog post, “If You Feel Like S—t, You’re Being Fertilized to Grow.” She said the posts help her and other students. That makes me grateful. I’m just passing on things I’ve learned. If they help you, that is great. Because writing these words helps me. I now understand that we can’t keep it unless we give it away.
Here’s today’s Tool For Tuesday: What NOT to put on your To Do List
On our mental and spiritual To Do List the top priority is taking care of ourselves. That comes first. We have to take care of ourselves because if we don’t, everything else falls apart. Our love relationships are tilted and twisted, our work trails off or becomes too much, our bodies bulge, our minds meander to those dark places they shouldn’t go.
Next comes, acceptance. We have to cope with trying people, places and situations. That means on our To Do List is learning coping skills. Sometimes we need to speak up for ourselves, sometimes we need to stay quiet. Sometimes we need to sit there and listen but sometimes we need to get up and walk away.
On our To Do List is also forgiveness. I was speaking to someone who told me she could forgive her brother for things he’d done, but she could never, would never forgive her co-worker who annoys her on a daily basis. Remember that not forgiving the people who upset us the most is like drinking poison and expecting them to get sick. An incredible transformation occurs within us when we are able to turn our resentments into acceptance and forgiveness. Our whole attitude changes and our lives follow.
What’s NOT on our To Do List is fixing, changing, manipulating, begging, intimidating other people. We can’t give away our glue to help someone fix themselves. We need to keep our glue to fix ourselves. We can see where other people are making mistakes but it is their job to comfort and take care of themselves.
Tool For Tuesday: What Is and Is NOT on Our To Do List