Category Archives: Transformation

Tool For Tuesday: 5 Tips on Building Self-Esteem

My friend, Erika–the one who asked me, “How do you stop the pain of being alive?” — asked me another question, “How do you build self-esteem?” “Well, what do you feel like?” “Like I’m 6 years old.” “And what do you … Continue reading

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Tool for Tuesday: The Willingness To Accept Changes in Our Lives

Tomorrow is my daughter Amalia’s birthday. I was reading an old journal and found notes from this time, 1989, in which I wrote, “Fear of baby#3!!!” I already had two sons, aged 4 and 2. Yikes! (This was nothing – … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: When Does Doing Good Go Bad?

Last week’s Tool For Tuesday was about helping others. But there’s a flip side. When does helping turn into enabling? When does saying yes too often turn into people-pleasing? And when you say yes, is it only because you’re scared … Continue reading

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Tool for Tuesday: Get A Habit.

No, I’m not talking about smoking or waiting for the tick-tick-tick toward 5 o’clock so you can pour yourself a drink. From the Latin, habire: to have. Something that gets so regular it becomes instinctive and you can save time … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: George Eliot’s Guide To Happiness.

Last Tuesday I had no tool to offer you—I had no tool to offer myself. It was just one of those lousy days that I had to sit out. Mama said there’d be days like this. Actually, my mother rarely … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: What Is NOT On Your To Do List?

I got a comment from a student at UCLA who thanked me for my blog post, “If You Feel Like S—t, You’re Being Fertilized to Grow.” She said the posts help her and other students. That makes me grateful. I’m … Continue reading

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Give Mourning Time Time. 10 Tips on Grief.

“How’s your blob going?” my mother used to ask about this, my blog. Well, as you might have wondered, my blob fell off the edge of the earth as my mother died September 13. I’m not ready to write about … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: Drop the Savior Behavior.

  My friend, Lily, whom I’ve written about here, told me that she had arrived at a new relationship with her new boyfriend on a white horse. She was going to rescue him and clean up his life. And at the … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: Drop the Because.

Can I go to the movies, Mom? No, because it costs a lot of money with the popcorn. I won’t buy popcorn. But the soda’s also expensive. I won’t buy soda. The tickets cost a lot. I have my own … Continue reading

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Tool For Tuesday: On Fear, And Forgetting Everything’s All Right

Now a word from our sponsor about fear. What’s fear? Forgetting Everything’s All Right. Facing Everything And Recovering. F—K Everything And Run. I love finding new acronyms. Let’s see. Fully Embracing All Reality. (That was off the top of my … Continue reading

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